Email from Angelica, Miranda's Mom

Hi Everyone,
Hope all is well with all of Miranda's Angels-you all deserve the best for all the continued prayers and so much more that you give Miranda!!  I apologize for not providing an update on Miranda sooner.  But as more phone calls are coming in from back home to check in on Miranda I know it is time to write.  Deep inside I had to delay this letter by a couple days after November 30th.  For those who may not know,  November 30 marked one year that Miranda began her "Journey".  Yes, it was one year ago that I took Miranda to see our dear friend Maya for what I thought was just a rash on her little body.  How I wish it would have been just a rash from the laundry detergent.  It didn't help matters that on Monday, Miranda wanted to watch "My Sister's Keeper"-talk about bringing up all the year's emotions up in 2 hours.  It is a good movie but just hard to watch without breaking down-Miranda was in tears during the movie, she could definitely relate to the main character but also could see a brighter outlook for her condition.

It has been a year of continuous questions, fears, and tears.  Fighting back the lump in my throat,  I have to write that it eases my mind and heart a lot when Miranda seems to think that the year has just flown by.  Yes, bless her dear little heart.  She sees this year as passing by so quickly.  I thank God for that.  I would hate for Miranda to be one to dwell on the past and just sit in a world of depression, regret, and resentment.  She has proven herself to be a true warrior.  It may be hard to believe that when you see her-Miranda has yet to get past 69 pounds.  She has grown, but her weight is a continuous challenge to keep up.  She is eating better but with the ongoing chemotherapy I doubt that she will really put any major weight on.  I'd like to think that I can fatten her up with some enchiladas, tamales, quesadillas, or mmm some bizcochos, but no matter what she eats it all seems to get absorbed by her body with no room for extra insulation.

The only thing I can say with certainty that has come back in full force is her hair!! haha.  She is totally excited that her "fuzz" is back and that it seems to be dark and straight for now.  I always joke with her saying her hair will come back red and in a tight curl.  haha  Yes, I'm mean, but can you imagine her with that set of locks?  Miranda is putting forth the challenge to Sherry for a new look
*Real quick I have to put this in now to show some of the challenges Miranda has had to put up with and how she has handled them.  I took Miranda in to get some lip balm and gloss at a local "foo foo" salon---she noticed people looking at the both of us and then innocently-or maybe not-asked some of the hair dressers there if they were up to a challenge---with a puzzled look- they asked what kind of challenge and she asked what they would be able to do with her hair (mind you her hair was barely coming in)---Miranda certainly put them in their place.    Miranda is not cynical, but has developed a thick skin to all the stares, giggling, and under the breath comments she hears as she enters a room or store.  During the past year she has chosen not to go out or attend certain functions because of her insecurities about her appearance.  She has always said that it doesn't bother her when children stare at her but wonders why adults do.  As her protective Mother I  just tell her that some people were just ignorant.  It may sound rough especially coming from a teacher, but after numerous run ins with people who just stare at Miranda or cringe when we walk past them I finally gave up my kind comment about how these people were just unaware of her struggles.

Miranda and I have also learned to just shrug our shoulders at others and keep going-there will always be "those" people in this world and we just shake them off and enjoy our day.

I could go on and on about the challenges and obstacles that poor Miranda has endured,but you all have been there by her side and so I would rather focus on the positive.  The positive forces that have made Miranda smile and  rejoice for joy.  A couple of those positive forces are the wonderful new friends she has made,  the great adventures Miranda has been a  part of, the unexpected visits from family afar that have made all of us smile and cry, the incredible acts of kindness that have Miranda wondering why she deserves them, to wrap it up, the positive force that comes from Love The Love for an innocent child that has endured so much.  Yes, it has been a year filled with many tears, but some tears have come from the joy of knowing that so many of you care and love Miranda.  There have been countless tears that have flown from my cheeks as I read my emails, but the tears turn from those of sadness to those of gratitude for having all of you and others that I can't reach via email for your continued Love and Support.  I truly wish I could list every act of kindness that has crossed my path and Miranda's but I can't, one my memory would probably fail me, but more importantly the acts of kindness need not be listed because they are etched in my heart and that of Miranda that we only need to close our eyes, feel the beat of our heart and know that we are Loved and that  nothing can take  them away.  To know that  so much love and support can keep us smiling on this journey is an incredible thing that I really can't explain.  Many of you have witnessed my tears of sorrow but know that there are so many more tears of joy that are replacing my sadness and frustration and when you see my dark circles or tired appearance do not feel pity, but feel some comfort in knowing that I am grateful for each day I get to spend with Miranda, Angelo, and Madison all together yes, some are harder than others, but they are all a gift.  A gift that a lot of families cannot share in. In the short year of Miranda's Journey we have seen the pain of others that have lost their battle, we have seen the pain left with family members wondering and asking "why us".

Thank you--sincerely for everything.  I cannot bring myself to write any more.

Please enjoy every moment of life, treasure your children, and smile,yes smile when you read this because you have touched Miranda's life and have made her smile...

Love,

Angelica